how do i tell my boyfriend/fiancee person that my wet dream is choco in the cheesy movie, "Domino"?
seriously. i am still shuddering and shaking in my boots over him swimming in his tighty-whities, oh my god i want some of that. and how his hair flops (even though i got over long hair in highschool).... holy motherfucker. the actor himself, meh.... i guess it's probably the character he played in that movie. hot, crazy, violent, troubled, impulsive, no social skills, and super into the love/passion thing... for a girl with short hair and a temper....

oh man. i think i just creamed my pants.

WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS NEW KNOWLEDGE ABOUT WHAT GETS ME OFF?

...okay.... it was the wet tighty whities that did it. i admit it. i'm just a horny girl who doesn't care about much except a tanned, flat stomach and sagging wet white briefs... weird. i always thought that eye-candy-wise, i only liked watching girls get off. it's a girl thing.... girls or gay men get off. i blame the porn industry for not understanding SHITE about orgasms...

but still.... wow.... for the first time, i *wanted* to go down on on some hot boy parts... ew. mean, i like the boys parts, and i like having them all go crazy because of something easy and simple that i did... but in the end, the pleasure is just for being awesome and hello, hard boy parts!... not for acually being turned on....

until NOW!!! i want that. all over and up and down. it has definitely been too long, this trip to chile of his.... because now my libido is stretching its legs. is that good? it certainly feels good. i jsut hope it doesn't mean bad things.

i hate that. me wanting things and discovering things makes me feel.... bad, and guilty, and hiding secrets.

i have got a lot of issue to figure out, and a lot of boundaries to hit and punch and kick... and although it's unlikely, he better be fucking ready to spread some horizons. BUT HOW TO I SAY IT?

i hate this.